momtourage

Ten Reasons I'm Glad I'm Not Pregnant Anymore

10. I can pick stuff up off of the floor.  My three-year-old started picking things off the floor with his toes.  I realized he got that from watching me.
9. Advil.  Oh, sweet headache ambrosia!  How I missed you!  I couldn't even take it while I was trying to conceive.  Does anybody need a huge bottle of warehouse store generic acetaminophen?  I'm never using it again.  Perhaps I'll make a mosaic jewelry box with the left-over caplets.
8. Runny eggs, medium rare hamburgers, lunch meat, sushi, the occasional guilt-free glass of wine, unpasturized cheese (Who am I kidding? I totally ignored this rule.  Every time I thought of avoiding the raw cheeses, a gaggle of pregnant French women in my head laughed at me as they enjoyed their raw gruyere.  The baby seems to have survived this indiscretion unscathed, BTW.)
7. I can sleep on my belly!  (At least until my b00bs start to hurt too much from the dairy farm action going on in there.)
6. I lost around 15 lbs.  In one day!  Magical...
5. The triumphant return of my bladder.  You don't miss your water until you need to relieve it every time you drink more than a teaspoon.
4. I can carry my baby when I want to.  I can put my baby down when I want to.
3. My back no longer aches.
2. That week of 90+ degree weather we had just after I gave birth.

1. I can finally carry my older son! Nope.  Not so much.  Even though I had an uncomplicated vaginal birth, I still have six weeks of recovery from it, according to my midwife.  So swinging Cakie around and helping him do flips and playing horsey is still verboten.  At least for the next three weeks.  So I need a new #1 reason...

1.  Ok, my sweet baby.  That's reason #1.  I finally know what he looks like.  I know the date of his birthday and how exactly he came into the world.  And I love it.  I love it.

Adventures in Gardening

This is a photo of my vegetable garden at the beginning of the summer. Sadly, things have not progressed as I would have liked. Constant, unprecedented levels of rain (5 inches in one day!!!) here in Western Maine have swamped it. The tomatoes are rotting on the vine. The sugar snaps yeilded about 2 handfuls, and the basil plants are still too tiny to make churn into one decent batch of pesto. The weeds, of course, are thriving. At this point I am just hoping that next year's harvest will be a little better.

But there are other bright spots to focus on. Our annual town celebration happened yesterday with no rain. Sam won 'best of show' for under 10s with his rope photo, took 1st place in the mile race (a little over 10 minutes) and can not stop admiring his ribbons. And Hank is proud and satisfied too. He caught a lot of candy during the parade.

Stupid and Dangerous

Ah the beauty of nature! Gentle breezes, happy flowers etc etc.

It's easy to forget nature's fury, especially when there are blueberries at stake. A few days ago, my step mom and I climbed to the top of a local mountain known for its proliferation of blueberries. Man, was it loaded. There were two elderly ladies up there (surely into their 70s, with those rubber-tipped hiking sticks for ballast, wearing large, sensible sun hats) who pick annually and even they said they had never seen anything like it. I cannot describe how wonderful it is to forage for food atop a rock-topped mountain ringed by clouds and other mountains that sink into pleasant valleys covered in forest and dotted with the occasional farm. We picked all of our containers full in a matter of hours (including a last desperate attempt to gather the maximum amount of berries in our used sandwich bags) then vowed to return the very next morning. Well.

It was cloudy when we woke up and the forecast said 'chance of showers in the morning with chance of thunderstorms in the afternoon.' We disregarded it. After all, who minds getting a little damp in exchange for the sweetest, tastiest blueberries in the world? As we started up the trail, we heard a few distant rumbles of thunder. But even on a clear day, in the mountains, you may hear thunder-like activity and it never amounts to anything. So we continued. About 30 minutes into our hike, just as we were nearing the steep rock face you have to scale to reach the summit (yes, we kept wondering how those two elderly ladies managed that - and there seems to be no way to avoid it, worse on the way down than on the way up) the storm broke. I have rarely been so scared in my life. Lightening close by and torrential rain. My step mom has bad knees so I kept bolting down the trail, trying to remember everything I'd ever heard about how to be safe in such situations, then waiting for her to catch up while I crouched near a small stand of trees. At one point I thought I just have to get out of this alive for my kids. Dramatic yes, but not inappropriate, given the severity of the storm.

We were sober in the car, and quiet. We spoke of how glad we were not to have become a tragic news item, like the hikers who occasionally get into trouble by being too ambitious. You read these articles and think - what were they thinking, attempting that? Didn't they check the forecast or the map?

I will check the forecast. I will be prudent and safe. I have relearned the lesson I knew all along.

BEAM summer camp

The closest experience I had to summer camp was Outdoor Education in elementary school: essentially a long weekend in the mountains during the winter. We hiked, learned about nature, sang songs, square-danced, star-gazed, and had a great time. I will never forget it.

Another friend, Brian Cohen, crediting his summer camp experience for inspiring his career in music, had a dream of starting a camp of his own. About five years ago, he left his job at Sony Music and founded Beam Camp. A father of three kids, he wanted the camp to have a creative twist: campers would collaborate to create original works of art or installations. Some of these projects are shown here: left, Beam Fleet, seven all wood vehicles that were equal parts kinetic sculptures, simple machines and rolling canvases (concept by Steve Gerberich and Nathaniel Lieb); below, a giant Nexus Canopy, a 45’ x 36’ structure of wood and movable canvas walls conceived by Fabian Jabro; bottom, a Macro/Micro domes designed by Caitlin Berrigan.

It began modestly with about 24 kids, and now has tripled, without the benefit of any advertising. This year Beam Camp secured a new location on Parker Mountain in Strafford, New Hampshire. I was able to recently visit the camp and see the renovation of formerly forgotten buildings (the campsite hadn’t been used for about four years), and the completion of new bunk cabins, a wood-shop, and lavatory, among others.

First of all, I am inspired by Brian’s can-do attitude. When I see all the “before” photos and the “after” in person, I cannot believe what they accomplished in a such a short amount of time. The colorful projects that the campers built in the past now decorate their new home and I’m not only excited to see what they will create in the future, but I can’t wait till my kids are old enough to participate. It’s an amazing gift that Brian has given to his children and others who are fortunate to attend this innovative camp.

ps. to get a glimpse of this year’s BEAM project, go to jungletopia.blogspot.com

Cousins' Reunion

A couple of weekends ago, my sister kindly hosted a 'cousins' reunion' at her place in Vermont. We had all sort of drifted apart as we grew up. Some of us are in the Boston area, I am in Brooklyn and still others are as far as California. It was great (and a little surprising) that in spite of the time lapse and many life changes (6 kids and several spouses are now involved) we still maintain that old comfort around each other. Sure, we weren't toe wrestling or pulling hair as we had in our childhood, but there was a spirit of fun that was very - youthful! After all, we have known each other at our worst (blasting Yes  and even Styx albums) and best. Actually, I think the best is right now, watching my wonderful cousins interacting with their wonderful kids. We are planning to make it an annual event and maybe even doing a round robin at our various homes.

I have been reading a lot about 'staycations' and tucking in the belt on vacation spending. I highly recommend this variation. We had 4 tents set up and most people slept out in them. Sam camped out for the first time ever and loved it. Other cousins had s'mores for the first time. The older ones jumped off a big rock at a swimming hole. Sam got leeches for the first time at that same swimming hole. Lots of firsts!

We all collaborated on cooking simple, thrifty, yet satisfying meals (homemade pizza, a spaghetti feed)that also appealed to the greatest number of palates. (Along with the gourmet lamb sausage and onion topped pie there was also plain cheese.) But best of all, we just got to talk and hang out around a campfire while kids ranging in age from 4 to 14 played flashlight tag. It was true bliss.

Photo Exhibit

Every year our town has an event referred to as 'Olde Home Days.' It is a 3 day celebration/town fair in which there is a parade complete with people shooting muskets en route, (I have nothing against hunting for your own food but somehow this public display of arms never fails to horrify me.) a popular antique car show, a chicken barbeque, and a growing photography exhibit.
Here are two photos Sam is entering. (He is allowed 3 entries in the children's category.) Last year he won a red ribbon for a snapshot of his brother dressed in pirate garb. Perhaps these moodier choices will garner a ribbon too.

By the way - both photos were taken at the excellent Maine Maritime Museum in Bath. It is well worth a visit if you or a little one is interested in ships. There is even a pirate ship playground that just opened this year with lots of ropes and decks.

summer vacation

When I was a kid, summer vacation meant going to the library for the children’s book club and visiting the bookmobile when it parked in our neighborhood. At home, I would try to see how quickly I could read my selections (how geeky was I?) The vacation was simply not going school, and having lots of idle time.

Looking back, our family never took trips together (unless you count the trips to the mall). Now that I’m older, I can see that the cost of travel can be prohibitive for a family of four. My father believed that children are too young to appreciate traveling, and therefore, not worth the expense. I think he was wrong...I know that my kids don’t really care whether we’re in Italy or Nebraska—just that we’re spending time together, and I do think that they absorb culture and expand their horizons by seeing and experiencing new things (even if it is just realizing that gelato = ice cream).

My husband has fond memories of visiting the English seaside with his family, and taking walks in the countryside. I think that that has instilled in him a love of nature, and we still always try to seek it out, no matter where we are. Hopefully we’re passing along those traditions to our boys, too.

off the mat and into the world

i am so fortunate to have found wonderful yoga teachers here in austin. so a shout out is in order to mandy who teaches from the anusara lineage, she encourages me to open up to grace and to "loop" my kidneys of all things! she is an alignment fanatic, and thinks nothing of pulling up her yoga pants above her knees to illustrate what the thigh looks like in "outer spiral". angela is a flat-out goddess! a generous soul with abundance of information about yogic philosophy, anatomy, and how to apply them to our practice. her familial, un-intimidating manner results in packed classes that feel like private lessons. she focuses me to notice how postures feel from the inside out and keeps my ego in check by reminding me that my ability to get into parsva bakasana doesn't make me a good person.

but my biggest props go to my greatest (and favorite) teacher, sam. my practice with him has been the most profound and has resulted in the most growth. sam is of course, my son. sometimes our path together has looked ugly, full of anger, frustration and pain but sometimes its been a magic carpet ride to sheer bliss.

one shining example of how my asana practice has informed my parenting is by being able to stay present during times of discomfort. practically speaking... watching, with a healthy detachment, struggles unfold.

when for example sam has flipped his lid; yelling loudly, whining irrationally and endlessly so! i work to witness his "event", compassionately. i try to breathe and allow him the dignity of his emotions rather than trying to tidy them up, tuck them away and/or shut them out because it pushes all sorts of buttons for me (and how it pushes those buttons!). as i sit quietly navigating what he is trying to communicate, i am telling him without words that i hear him. when it is time to offer him tools in which to work with these feelings, i do so from the heart. he is being heard, emotionally held AND respected as a human being. this is one way i can show him my unconditional love.

but there is also the deeper practice of how being a parent integrates into my own path. in times of stress, my mind tends to want to escape or retaliate. instead of following that reaction, i pause to witness my own emotions rising and falling. i breathe and without manipulation watch the ebb, flow and tide of my mind. physically, i can notice my jaw, my stomach, my heart as they race, ache and tense-up. but i allow my body IT'S dignity to process it in this way. again, i breathe and realize all sensation has a beginning, middle and end. i notice, stay with it and surrender, with equanimity.

don't get me wrong, the above is me at my best. i don't live in this space 24/7. but i try by remembering to breathe, or by taking the option to slow down, stop what i am doing and be present for sam, and thus myself. and when i find myself having not hit that ideal, after i have lost my patience, yelled, shamed, be punitive... i try to do the extremely hard work of NOT beating myself up. again, i witness what self-disappointment feels like. i try to remember to breathe and offer the unconditional love, the compassion i want to show sam onto myself.

sort of like when i struggle with not being able to get into a difficult arm balance. i turn to all my teachers' wisdom, i stick with myself (sam), remember to "melt my heart" (mandy) and know that i am still lovable (angela).

Knitting slowdown

I've only finished one knitting project since I've been up here in Maine - horrors! Luckily it was a nice warm, machine washable-wool sweater for Hank. Perfect for those surprisingly chilly evenings. I just used a dropped sleeve pattern from my beloved Ann Budd book. And some more of that seemingly endless supply of extra Lamb's Pride superwash. At least now I'm down to only enough left for striped projects.

Boy, it seems like I am always knitting up something painfully practical. Everytime I see something unusual I think perhaps I should be a little bit more creative. Maybe I'll do so when the kids stop outgrowing stuff every few months.

Summer Project: Root Veggie Alien

This is an easy project Sam and I did recently. It's a great way to get the kids engaged at the market when you are shopping and then again at home. This project needs very little supervision for your 4+ y/os.

SUPPLIES
> Toothpicks
> Root Vegetable
> Marker
> Camera

At the grocery have your child pick out their alien's body shape(s): a potato, a jicama, parsnip... it should be sturdy, cause as cool as a star fruit would be it will wilt in 24-36 hours, not as much fun. Once at home have 'em go at it. Toothpicks act as legs, tentacles, arms… "shooters" are Sam's favorite. The marker can draw on a face, or get creative with "googly eyes", etcetera.

At this point in projects we offer Sam the digital camera to document his work/play*. For this project he captured images of his aliens (mostly battling) with his small plastic toys. He winds up creating elaborate, imaginative stories and his perspective, as seen in his pictures, is jaw-dropping cool. The act of photographing inspires the play and visa-versa. During this exploration we take notes about the action (alternately, you can take notes when reviewing the shots), and then we assemble a few images with his words on the computer to create a short story. You can also kick it old school and use a analog camera and make a trip of going to the photo store to get the film developed. Your child can practice writing out their name, address and phone number on the envelope too boot!

Freshly done alien.

When cavemen attack!

Sabertooth Tiger with their friendly amigo "Octopus Banana".
Notice the ice-age mammal spearing poor O.B. in the pie hole ;-(.