Dare I say, I'm doing a good job?

Today, we had a highly anticipated, 7 y/o birthday party to go to. Highly anticipated since it was for a great buddy of S's. I was also thrilled as it was going to be, for me, a social experiment, a sociological experience. The location: Chuck E. Cheeses. 

Is it plural "Cheeses" or "Cheese"? I don't even know. I have never been to one and our not having a television keeps us from hearing an advertisement to clarify my confusion. I did know it was going to be like Pizza Planet from the movie "Toy Story". And that is how I explained it to S. He didn't seemed freaked out by nor overly excited about the place, and I took quiet pride that he was going in so level-headed about it, knowing that once there his mind would be blown away by all the fun and action. I mean, what 6 y/o wouldn't LOVE this place, right?!

In all honesty, I was mildly freaked out by the party location. Sorry, but Chuck E. Cheese(s?) is basically the opposite of all things I cultivate in my life. It's full of unnatural lights and sounds. God knows what the pizza is made from? And the most crazy-making for me was the potential that the video games would be the kind where you shoot at people (bad guys, but still). HOWEVER I chalked it up to an experience that S will have, without my adult filter. And also, being truly honest again, I am pretty good at not projecting my anxieties on S. I give him a fair amount of space to have is own experiences as long as he is going to be safe. Chuck's place seemed safe from a physical standpoint and as a once time dealy-o, fine by me emotionally.

But nature had its own plans. S was tired at just before noon. We were out unusually late last night, so this made sense. His being tired also expressed itself in the form of a headache. We were already on our way so despite S asking to "go home", I promised that we would go for 10 minutes and see how we felt. That we wanted to honor our commitments and wish our friend a happy birthday, but if after we arrived he still wasn't up to it, fine, we're outta there. I was kind of hoping S would be invigorated by the festivities, he'd have fun, i'd chat with some parents, indulge in naughty foods... but S's internal gague is far more acute than I'd imagined.

S was polite when greeting the hosts and then sat on my lap quietly for 10-15 minutes, all the while, taking in the many sights and sounds I anticipated. Maybe when his other buddies arrived and expressed their enthusiasm he'd pop up and say "never mind"? Nope. I checked in with him and he asked to go home, so I honored my promise and we said our goodbyes to the gracious hosts, friends and birthday boy.

In the car ride home, he looked ready for a nap. I drove slowly to let him drift off more easily. I though S was asleep, but out of the silence he spoke softly "that party seemed fun, but it's not my favorite idea for a birthday party". We'll that comment is full of new post action, so I won't go into it here and now, BUT what is relevant to THIS post is that I witnessed my son's flexibility and confidence in making the distinction about what is right for him now. I sat in quiet awe that my son was able to say no to very powerful temptations: friend's enthusiasms, free-reign to play games, eat cake and be loud, because it didn't feel right inside. He is aware of what he needs to feel well and happy and the shiny lure of all things fun and fab isn't greater than that. He knows what is right for him because he's tuned into his inner guru.

My son rules! And dare I say I have had a hand in this rock star status? Maybe its that I let him have his emotions, ALL of them. And maybe the result is that he recognizes them and feels comfortable with them, own them and act upon them. Kindly, allow me a moment of "Yea me".

Comments

[Kris]

I had a similar Chuck-E-Cheese experience. It was too much distraction for me and Hank was small enough to not mind leaving immediately. A few weeks later it was closed by order of health inspectors...this is the Atlantic Center one.