momtourage

Stroller Brigade

I'm not normally in touch with current goings-on, but I happened to check in with Brownstoner today and was led to the following link about an apparent parent manifesto regarding a stroller ban at Union Hall.

As the parent of two 'stroller age' children (I know the rules are stretched in Park Slope and they may be a bit old for this and as an aside - I did retire our stroller a couple of months ago) - I am wondering at these parents who are fighting for their rights to bring toddlers into drinking establishments. Doesn't that rob all of the fun from it? I know that on the rare nights we get a sitter and are able to frequent such establishments we are almost giddy with the adult composition of its patrons. Must you also take this away? Please - Think about making bar-going an event rather than an everyday occurrence or an afternoon afterthought!

Plus, it's probably not the best example. When my kid clanks a juice box 'cheers' to his playmate I am thinking about future responsibilities and possible 'interventions.'

I remember the brouhaha when Patio Bar posted a child-unfriendly notice on their chalkboard. Well what do you expect? It may have been crudely done, but in my mind children and bars do not belong together. Let us hold onto at least a couple of things from our pre-childbearing years. Let us be able to masquerade as childless adults, out for a mindless drink, not worried about snacks and sippy cups. Just for a couple of hours.

Thank you.

Reason #19 That I'm Happy to be Having a Boy

This website I just discovered.

I did a tag search for baby, gifts, clothes.  If I were having a girl, I would have just spent all of my money on new clothes for her.  I am having another boy.  So I can just close my eyes and imagine my son's closet, brimming with hand-me-downs, awaiting the second child's arrival.

But seriously... if you have a baby shower to go to, or even a first birthday, and you're contemplating dropping $25 bucks on a cute little outfit or two, run screaming in the opposite direction from Babiez R Us and straight to Etsy.  I guess the idea is that the items are handcrafted and custom-made, so you may need to wait longer than usual.  But seriously.  So. Darned. Cute.  I'm never shopping in a trendy Brooklyn baby boutique again.

Sunny Pictures for a Rainy Day

Too interesting to turn around

We are coming to the end of a 2 week vacation - one week expected due to Passover and the other an extra due to construction at the boys' preschool. To try to keep all of us sane and happy, I planned an event to center around every day. Sometimes it was ambitious - a trip to the Manhattan Children's Museum or The Statue of Liberty. Other times it was something small and close to home - a picnic in the park and a play session at a 'far-away' playground. It has been a highly successful strategy and the dreaded weeks have flown by for all of us. Looking through my most recent photo download I ran across a few instances in which I had absolutely failed to get the boys to turn around they were so completely engaged.

The water lily pond at The Brooklyn Botanic Garden - spotting some goldfish.

Finger snapping and clapping cannot compete with the view of crashing waves and the Manhattan skyline (as seen from Liberty Island).

The fountain at The Brooklyn Museum of Art. If Sam turned around you would see that he is soaked from the mighty splashes.

spoiled?

Just when I was wondering whether I was spoiling my kids too much by giving my son a prize for peeing in the potty for the first time or bringing them strawberry milk after school, I saw the buzz about Suri Cruise's $100,000 party celebrating her second birthday. Reportedly, there were two bashes (an afternoon party for 24 guests, and then an evening affair for the parents' A-list pals like Posh and Becks) that included:
$45,000 catering, by Wolfgang Puck
$5000 personalized, individual b-day cakes for each guest
$230 cupcakes
$17,000 fresh flowers
And in case you were wondering, the theme was butterflies—the little princess's favorite.

A Keeper

I dated a lot in my youth.

I think for a long time, I didn't choose so well.  Maybe I didn't know what I deserved.  Maybe I was just clueless in general.

On Monday, my honey and I had our 9 year anniversary.  I know that this is just a beginning.  I also feel proud.  I don't think I've done anything else consistently for nine whole years except breathe.

Living together and navigating things like home-ownership, bills, laundry, shopping, not-to-mention parenthood, is not always easy.  I feel lucky to have someone like A, who pushes through the hard stuff like a trooper and still seems to like me, despite those things that make me less than perfect. 

Though she's obviously not perfect either, I think she's pretty close to perfect for me.  When we sit down to play a board game, despite any trash talking we may do ahead of time, we never really know who is going to win.  We are an even match.  That's what makes it fun.

I don't know what the future holds.  Hopefully a healthy baby, maybe someday a house with a yard, perhaps--dare I dream?--even a legal marriage.  I just hope that the future holds us together: me and this woman I've found.  I've finally found a keeper.

A Choice

For a long time I swore I would never have kids. I believed that no biological clock, no perfect partner would ever make me change my mind. I would just opt out. And now here I am, mom to two boys in a pretty traditional home-maker role. I just washed and waxed the kitchen floor for god's sake! (Sometimes I surprise myself.) At any rate, at some point I thought a lot about it and made a choice. I renounced my former views and threw myself whole-heartedly into motherdom.

But that doesn't mean that I judge my childless friends, random strangers  and people that I work with based on my current beliefs. I chose this life, but other people choose different things and that's great. You know what - it's simply none of my business in the first place.

So when I came across a friend yesterday in tears because she had been called a breeder (with absolutely the meanest of intentions) by a supervisor it made me mad. And I am still angry. But apart from running over there and shouting at him I am at a loss as to what to do next. It doesn't surprise or unduly bother me that some people hate children (or women in general as I suspect in this case) but have the decency to keep those thoughts to yourself. especially when you're at work!!!!!

food fundamentalists

Have you ever noticed how unyielding people can be about food? For instance, a friend of mine used to think it was strange for me to want pizza or pasta for breakfast, since those aren't acceptable morning meals. But since I grew up in another country, I was used to having pho (beef rice noodle soup), or sticky rice with Vietnamese sausage for breakfast—things that Americans would never eat before noon.

I know that what we eat is partly dictated by our culture and widely accepted beliefs, but it's just interesting how religious people can be about it, and that the views can radically differ in each country. Here are some examples...

In America, it's common knowledge that drinking while you're pregnant is a major NO-NO. Yet in France, it would be odd NOT to have a glass of wine with dinner, even when with child.

When I told my Japanese friend that I missed eating sushi when pregnant, she said that she never stopped eating raw fish during her pregnancy.

In the US, books and pediatricians recommend introducing ONE food at a time when transitioning your baby to solid foods, in order to determine any food allergies. However, when I was in England, it was almost impossible to find jarred baby foods that weren't combinations of several items. They would market first foods as breakfast, main meals or dessert options. (A couple of baby offerings are shown below—notice that they are "Stage 1–from 4 months old").

Food attitude is a fascinating thing... I'm already dictating what's acceptable to my little ones, but if it was up to them, they'd have breakfast at every meal.

What You Didn't Know About Teachers

After we say we'll miss you,
After we blow you kisses and remind you to read every day over spring break,
After we tell your parents to have a wonderful vacation together,
After the very last one of you goes home on the Friday before a vacation...

We run outside and high-five each other.
We throw our hands up in the air like a perfect Olympian victory V after sticking the landing and yell "Nadia!"
We skip down the street, which stretches before us like those five student-free days.
Some of us (especially the non-pregnant variety) even go out for Margaritas.

Aaaaaaand then we proceed to actively try to forget your names.

Yes.  The truth is out.  Even those of us who enjoy teaching in general.

I just thought I'd let you in on it, now that you're all grown up.

Perfect Mom

I'm just trying to do the best that I can here people. I probably will forget to sunscreen the kids on the first really sunny day. I may be seen standing in line at Conneticut Muffin because I didn't pack enough snacks. Or drinks. But overall, I think I do okay. That is, until I have a sighting of Perfect Mom. She pops up every once in a while, sometimes while I am feeling like a bad parent (trying to rein in my out of control kids in the library!), or sometimes when I think I am at the top of my game. Which is what happened this past weekend.

I had taken Hank to the Botanic Garden as part of a nice (and rare) one-on-one day. After observing how the garden had changed since our visit a week ago, we stopped for lunch at the cafe. It was very crowded so we shared a table with Regular Mom and her two girls. Then they left and Perfect Mom moved in.

First of all, her daughter looked as fresh as a daisy - clean outfit, hair combed, big smile. PM carried a bowl of pasta salad tossed with chickpeas and veggies (The cafe actually serves this - I had never ordered it.) Then she opened her backpack and proceeded to lay out a veritable feast of veggie sticks, luscious fruit, and other healthy fare. As she chatted with a friend, I became aware of Hank's plate. He had eaten about half of his hamburger and was now dipping his (white bread) bun in a mountain of ketchup and licking it off. The accompanying vegetables were abandoned in a pile far from his plate. Egads. Also, he had a big smudge of dirt on his cheek. I myself was wearing a windbreaker with a big rip under one sleeve. Just then the topic turned to beverages. (I admit that I was eavesdropping.) Perfect Mom was taking out a stainless steel thermos for her daughter and commenting, "Of course I would never let her touch a drop of liquid out of plastic!" Just then she noticed the large bottle of plastic water that Hank and I were sharing and lowered her voice a notch.

I was embarrassed. I thought, "What kind of half-assed job am I doing here?" The irony is that I had brought along stainless steel thermoses full of tap water for us, but we had drained them earlier. I guess I could have gone downstairs to the water fountain and refilled them but somehow I didn't think of this at the time. Like a child desperate for approval, I contemplated pulling them out of my backpack. But that would only look ridiculous beside a big bottle of Evian.

I have a sneaking suspicion that I have abandoned the high standards of workmanship I had when I worked out of the home. But maybe you don't need to toe that kind of line as a parent. A few Dunkin Donuts here and there probably aren't such a bad thing.