momtourage

Pink Pictures for a Gray Day

It's raining again! Which I guess is extra good news since I just discovered that the DEP can draw water from the Hudson River to replenish NYC's water supplies if the reservoir gets too low. I know that water (even waste water) can be recycled and purified enough to be safely drinkable, but still.

Anyhow, here are some nice pink pictures to brighten up this gray day.

Sam and the azaleas, yesterday at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. I kept him out of school again as the
class was going on an all-day farm field trip and I didn't think he was up to it. We have a follow-up appointment with his surgeon on Tuesday so I am just trying to keep activities to the minimum until then.

This is a baseball shirt and hat that I knit for my stepsister's baby. She is due in June. It's a great pattern from Knit 2 Together but I adapted it a bit to use up some Rowan All Season cotton I had on hand. I love how the entire raglan shoulder opens up so there's no head squishing anxiety when putting it on. There's supposed to be a kangaroo pocket but I was afraid I'd run out of yarn, so I skipped it and ended up having enough left over for a simple roll-brim hat. I guess I'm not that great at eyeing quantities. I never even peeked under the cover of this book until about a month ago as I found the concept (a celebrity comedienne knitter?) and cover photo (a sweater knit for 2) to be off-putting. Finally I spied a deeply discounted copy on Amazon (new for $5.50) and snapped it up. Turns out it is a great book with lots of patterns I will love to knit. Who knew?

the storm

I'm reporting from the home of a friend who kindly let me use her power. We had an exciting hail storm last night. First there was lightning and thunder, sending a crying toddler to my office. Then it sounded like it was raining rocks, and I looked out the window to see hail stones the size of golf balls. Seconds later while hubby was wondering whether to throw a blanket over the car to protect it, the lights went out, and the house was pitch black. I found some lanterns that I had bought for the kids in the closet, and somehow we all went back to sleep.

This morning and afternoon, I kept hoping that we'd have power back, but still nothing. Some neighbors have power across the street. I saw that some trees were broken and the landscapers were very busy today. Some people had their windows broken too. We are lucky to have weathered the storm without damage...

Happy/Sad Mother's Day

Well, it was Mother's day yesterday and I have to say I had an extra nice time. My mom was here and we all went to Bubby's for brunch. Miraculously we were seated right next to the play area so I didn't have to move an inch to monitor Sam and Hank's circuitous travels from the toys to the food. And during the day I actually got enough time to myself to give the crossword a real go plus I took a walk around Prospect Park.

But all day I was also feeling very, very sad for a friend who lost her son last year. This will be her first Mother's Day without him and I can't even begin to imagine how terrible that will be. In light of this and with Sam's recent appendix scare, I feel subdued, scared, and precariously lucky.

There Is Superstition...

I just want to alert you to what is quite possibly the best superstition EVER.

I learned of it from a guy who works in my school cafeteria.  I had followed my nose down there.  The smell of garlic and general yum had wafted up to my room on the fourth floor.

He explained, as he set down in front of me a heaping plate of ravioli with spinach, peppers, cream and lots of garlic, about a Puerto Rican superstition.  If you deny a pregnant woman's request, you will get a sty in your eye.

All I have to say is, Que bonita bandera! That will not be my last visit to the school cafeteria.

Stroller Mom Show

I don't know if you've been too busy, if it just flew under your radar or if you frankly don't care, but there's a new show in the works about stroller moms in yes, dear old Park Slope, Brooklyn. When I first heard about it (before Sam came down with his mysterious ailment/appendicitis) I thought it kind of made sense - it is a gap in the market/fodder for existing series. But what will it be like? Will it be a sly, smart, hilarious show a la Arrested Development? Or will it be a turgid, angsty soap like Sex in the City, full of $1000 strollers and stiletto heels?

My god, I always hated that show.

Well, thanks to our lack of cable I may never have to find out. However, if it is of the latter ilk, it may give present and past momtourage mamas who have moved on to warmer climes a few good laughs now and again. A few good, "I made the right decision" moments.

Think of those of us still here, batting the cables and skirting around walkie-talkie wielding production assistants. In our stilettos.

Mother's Intuition

I'm pretty sure that this has happened to you at some point. You've been walking down the street, noticed a large child spilling out of a small stroller and thought, "Huh. That kids is way too big to be in that thing." I know I have.

I remembered this earlier today while wheeling great big 5 year old Sam around in our Volo. I had taken it along as a precaution. You see, Sam had his appendix out on Sunday and it was our first attempt to walk around the block. Sure enough, half way there he was all worn out. As I plopped him in the stroller and watched him close his tired eyes I vowed never again to judge the size of a kid vs. the size of his stroller. There are valid reasons to pull them out of storage and this is just one of many.

It all happened like this. He felt generally unwell. Maybe he was coming down with a cold. He threw up a bit. Maybe it was strep. I took him to the doctor. It was strep. But then later that day he started throwing up again and again. Instead of complaining of a general stomach ache, he pointed to his lower right side and said, "Mommy, it hurts right here." He looked terrible. I called my father-in-law (who is a doctor), described the symptoms and he said, "Get him to an emergency room right now." I threw both boys into a stroller and almost ran the 5 blocks to the nearest hospital. I accidentally left the front door open. Sam was still in his pajamas. I just sensed that something was very, very wrong.

Usually I trust the doctors. The triage nurse who examined him agreed that it was probably appendicitis and wheeled him into the pediatric ER immediately but after that things went downhill. The obviously harried doctor on duty gave him a cursory stomach probe "ouch! ouch!" then announced, "No way does this kid have appendicitis" and left us alone for a long, long time. I know that I don't know anything about these things. I'm not a medical professional. But I knew this. I had to get him more help.  So I totally breached protocol AND acted like a real ass and got my father-in-law on the phone with the doctor on call. Soon more tests were being done and the CT scan revealed that there was a problem. It could have been something else, but the appendix was enlarged.

Now I know that there are several conditions that mimic appendicitis that are not at all life threatening. And as my father in law noted, young doctors are trained to  be more cautious  with their diagnoses. They don't just go in and take things out anymore.  "But I'd rather be the schmuck who went in there and found nothing than the person who let it go," he said and I agreed. I had heard too many nightmare stories of burst appendix and thought it was worth the risk of the operation to truly find out. Up to the last minute, no one was really sure. The operating surgeon wrote on Sam's chart, "I do not think this is appendicitis but am willing to do the operation." We all went ahead.

In short, it was appendicitis - early stage. If we had been sent home as everyone wanted to just wait and see who knows what would have happened. We may have been back there the next day when it was bigger. We may have been back in a few days with Sam running a dangerously high fever and suffering from a burst appendix. We were very very lucky.

I keep thinking at that when I look at my tired out little boy. He is recovering well. The wounds are healing up nicely. He is still too weary to complain about staying still and doing quiet things. The biggest problem is keeping his brother from hugging him too much.

Sam's pediatrician predicts a rise in doctor visits whenever Hank has a tummy ache from now on. After this, I will bank on that.

bedtime bores

For me, putting the kids down for a nap or bedtime is up there with doing the dishes. I recall that it would take me almost two hours to get my first son to nap, and then he'd only sleep for 45 minutes to an hour. The effort sometimes didn't seem worth it. I found it much easier and pleasurable for me to take him out for a walk in the stroller. That would take all of 10 minutes before he was out.

Bedtime was equally challenging. When he was an infant, he would sometimes cry inconsolably, and being an anxious new mother, it made me doubt having children. For awhile, it didn't get any easier because we'd have to stay in the room until he fell asleep. Oh sure, we tried the Ferber method, (and the Super Nanny suggestions, and the no-cry sleep solution), but it would often prolong bedtime because he could cry for over an hour. It was often draining and frustrating. We felt like chumps when we went to Fire Island with three other families, and we were the only ones who didn't just put the child in the crib at bedtime and leave the room.

We vowed to be stricter, more effective with our second child (D), and for awhile, that seemed possible. I remember being able to put D down when he was a baby and leave the room, and he would only cry for five minutes, if at all. It was bliss. But it wasn't forever. Now, at two years old, D often insists that one of us  "lie down [with] me" until he falls asleep. Last night it took over an hour for the kids to fall asleep and I didn't leave the room successfully until 10 pm.

How I long for the day when they can read their own bedtime stories and put themselves to sleep.

Resilience

When my son was about 18 months, we were at the playground, when he fell off the side of a small slide. He ran over to me, sobbing. I kissed him and held him, but as I was comforting him, he pulled away, and headed straight back to the slide as if nothing had happened. A year later, he was riding his scooter and fell off when he hit a bump in the sidewalk. It pained me to see him hurt and crying, and offered to carry him, but to my surprise, he got right back on the scooter. I was amazed both times at how quickly he recovered from his tumble, and resumed whatever he was doing. He seems to bounce back so quickly from each setback—I hope it's a strength that won't be inhibited by knowledge or fear as he gets older.

It's also a quality that I wished I had more often too.

Stroller Brigade

I'm not normally in touch with current goings-on, but I happened to check in with Brownstoner today and was led to the following link about an apparent parent manifesto regarding a stroller ban at Union Hall.

As the parent of two 'stroller age' children (I know the rules are stretched in Park Slope and they may be a bit old for this and as an aside - I did retire our stroller a couple of months ago) - I am wondering at these parents who are fighting for their rights to bring toddlers into drinking establishments. Doesn't that rob all of the fun from it? I know that on the rare nights we get a sitter and are able to frequent such establishments we are almost giddy with the adult composition of its patrons. Must you also take this away? Please - Think about making bar-going an event rather than an everyday occurrence or an afternoon afterthought!

Plus, it's probably not the best example. When my kid clanks a juice box 'cheers' to his playmate I am thinking about future responsibilities and possible 'interventions.'

I remember the brouhaha when Patio Bar posted a child-unfriendly notice on their chalkboard. Well what do you expect? It may have been crudely done, but in my mind children and bars do not belong together. Let us hold onto at least a couple of things from our pre-childbearing years. Let us be able to masquerade as childless adults, out for a mindless drink, not worried about snacks and sippy cups. Just for a couple of hours.

Thank you.

Reason #19 That I'm Happy to be Having a Boy

This website I just discovered.

I did a tag search for baby, gifts, clothes.  If I were having a girl, I would have just spent all of my money on new clothes for her.  I am having another boy.  So I can just close my eyes and imagine my son's closet, brimming with hand-me-downs, awaiting the second child's arrival.

But seriously... if you have a baby shower to go to, or even a first birthday, and you're contemplating dropping $25 bucks on a cute little outfit or two, run screaming in the opposite direction from Babiez R Us and straight to Etsy.  I guess the idea is that the items are handcrafted and custom-made, so you may need to wait longer than usual.  But seriously.  So. Darned. Cute.  I'm never shopping in a trendy Brooklyn baby boutique again.

Sunny Pictures for a Rainy Day

Too interesting to turn around

We are coming to the end of a 2 week vacation - one week expected due to Passover and the other an extra due to construction at the boys' preschool. To try to keep all of us sane and happy, I planned an event to center around every day. Sometimes it was ambitious - a trip to the Manhattan Children's Museum or The Statue of Liberty. Other times it was something small and close to home - a picnic in the park and a play session at a 'far-away' playground. It has been a highly successful strategy and the dreaded weeks have flown by for all of us. Looking through my most recent photo download I ran across a few instances in which I had absolutely failed to get the boys to turn around they were so completely engaged.

The water lily pond at The Brooklyn Botanic Garden - spotting some goldfish.

Finger snapping and clapping cannot compete with the view of crashing waves and the Manhattan skyline (as seen from Liberty Island).

The fountain at The Brooklyn Museum of Art. If Sam turned around you would see that he is soaked from the mighty splashes.